The Healing Power of Music

It is hard to describe what it was like when the memories I tried so hard to push down came screaming back into my head after I finally told someone out loud that I was a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Whether my eyes were opened or closed, whether I was asleep or awake, there was no sanctuary from the fury with which my childhood trauma came to life again after so many years. In flashbacks, in nightmares, in panic attacks; the memories were overwhelming for months. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of horror. Worse yet, I felt more alone than I ever had in my life. I felt like no one could possibly understand what I was experiencing. I had men in my life through The ManKind Project who cared and were doing their best to help me process what I was going through, but there was still a voice in my head telling me that I was some kind of freak going through something no one could understand. Then I stumbled upon this video on YouTube. A talented young man took the time to get to know a man who was a childhood sexual abuse survivor, listened to his story, put his words to music, and wrote this song. Click play. Listen to the words and the way his heart breaks as he sings them. When I did, I knew that I was not alone, that someone else had felt the weight of memories of childhood sexual abuse, that someone understood this pain. It was the first of many gentle ways the universe let me know that I was on a path that had been trod by men before me and would be trod by men after me. That fact brings me hope and profound sadness all at once. So does this song...